Advent ~Twenty~

Advent ~Twenty~


I have doubts in my heart.  I have doubts that certain circumstances in my life will ever change. One day I think I see a glimmer of hope....the next day the glimmer fades away into nothingness.

Advent is about the barren becoming fertile, the impossible becoming possible, life being breathed into the dead and lifeless.
And when I can't seem to muster up  faith to believe that anything will ever be different....God meets me in my unbelief. In my frustrating, imperfect, up and down faith...He does not abandon me or leave me alone.  What a gift... What rest....

"The miracle always is that God is gracious, that grace carries us and breathes life into the dead and impossible places, that grace--a thousand graces--explodes the doubting silence in our hearts."    ~Ann Voskamp

I pray that new birth comes this Christmas....that my seemingly hopeless situations are illumined with bright light and life...that dreams, dead and withered, suddenly bud with promise...may I open my heart to His grace and peace...may I find joy in who I am and may He always be enough...

Advent ~Nineteen~

Advent ~Nineteen~

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,

and there are no grapes on the vine;

even though the olive crop fails,

and the fields lie empty and barren;

even though the flocks die in the fields,

and the cattle barns are empty,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord!

I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!

Habakkuk 3:17-18

F....False

E....Evidence

A....Appearing

R....Real

Fear....the silent terrorist.  It creeps into my thoughts uninvited and causes my heart to skip a beat.  The "what if's"  beat at my soul and restful sleep is illusive. Yet, my Father God tells me to "Fear not!"  He calls me to re-focus on Him and His love for me regardless of what my eyes think they see....

Ann Voskamp describes Habakkuk as defiant...."Habakkuk rings it again defiant from the watchtower into a struggling world--I will be joyful in the God of my salvation."

This Advent I think I will be defiant too!  I will focus on Jesus....my Joy-Giver!

I forget...I forget...that He loves me...that He sees...that He has given Jesus...that He has provided a way...even though....even though...there is failure and pain and disappointment....

Advent ~Eighteen~

Advent ~Eighteen~

"You've got to use the life you've been given to give others life."

"The Greatest Gift"

Queen Esther was a young Jewish woman chosen to be the wife of the Persian King.  She was not chosen by accident or by chance.  God had her right where He wanted her.  She would risk her life before the king to save the Jewish population from annihilation.
You can read her story in the book of Esther in the Old Testament.

She was asked this question..."Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?"

Have you ever heard someone lament that they were born in the wrong era? It seems like a sad way to live out one's life....wishing you weren't where you are and who you are. The focus of their life becomes what they don't have instead of being grateful and generous with what they do have.

Here are some humbling facts from today's Advent reading....

• If you have food in your fridge, any clothes in your closet, any small roof, rented or owned, over your head, you are richer than 75% of the world.
• If you have anything saved in the bank, any bills in your wallet, any spare change in a jar, you are one of the top 8% wealthiest people in the world.
• If you can read these words right now, you have a gift 3 billion people right now don't.  If your stomach isn't twisted in hunger pangs, you have a gift that 1 billion people right now don't.
• If you know Christ as the greatest Gift, you have a gift that untold millions of people right now don't.

I believe that your existence in this time and place and my existence in this time and place are not by accident or chance.  Like Queen Esther we have something to give to the people around us.  In God's economy even a cup of cold water is rewarded.

My dad and I had a new experience today.  We went to a Christmas Tea at the nursing home where he now lives.  He sure loved those little sugary delicacies! I nod my head up and down and smile alot when I'm there. I am surrounded by the elderly who have lost their hearing, their eyesight and their independence. Walkers, wheel chairs and canes abound.

I have learned that a gentle handshake, a touch on a shoulder, a hug, remembering a name and even a simple warm smile will light up their sweet weathered faces.

So, I ask you what Ann Voskamp asked me in her reflection questions...

"What specific gifts has God given you? 

"How might you use some of your gifts to help others--for such a time as this?

Advent ~Seventeen~

Advent ~Seventeen~


Look at the birds!  They don't worry about what to eat--they don't need to sow or reap or store up food--for your heavenly Father feeds them.  And you are far more valuable to him than they are.
                       ~Matthew 6:26


Let's talk about poo.  Yep!  That's what I said....poo.  Jesus, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, was born in a manger, stable, barn, cave....whatever you want to call it.  He was born in the midst of poo.  By our culture's standards, not a very royal entrance for such a King. No red carpet, extravagant clothing, limousines, preening and strutting for interviews, plastic smiles or adoring shout outs.  Just critters and poo.

Here is Ann Voskamp's description...
"...the Son is sent in through the fallen kingdom's back door, the King is born into a barn, to wrest the forces from the pit, slay the demons, and woo the world back to life.  The war is bloody.  It is heinously dark.  And on Calvary, evil corners the Son.  Iron spikes the King to a Tree and laughs haunting triumph--only to have light shatter the dark and the King fling off the rotting grave clothes and rise."

Advent, for me, is becoming this tingling, expectant, quiet waiting that celebrates birth and death and resurrection and second comings.

"The Kingdom comes to small and unlikely places

like you."

~Ann Voskamp

Advent ~Sixteen~

Advent ~Sixteen~


A person can move and change their geographical location....but they always take themselves with them.           ~Wilma Hauder



As the old saying goes....you can run but you can't hide...

Psalm 139 says it like this:

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?

to be out of your sight?

If I climb to the sky, you're there!

If I go underground, you're there!

If I flew on morning's wings

to the far western horizon,

You'd find me in a minute-

You're already there waiting!

Repentance, it means to turn around.  Ann Voskamp writes that repentance ushers us into God's grace.  Repentance brings resurrection....a new beginning...a clean slate.

Even though I run from God, He pursues me.  He knows I need His grace and His love and He doesn't give up on me.  He doesn't get tired of me.  He doesn't get impatient.  He seeks to give me what He knows I need for my life.

Why in the world do I run away from His extravagant gifts?

"You aren't equipped for life until you realize you aren't equipped for life.  You aren't equipped for life until you're in need of grace." ~Ann Voskamp

Advent ~Fifteen~

Advent ~Fifteen~


Dictionary Definition:
bow (bou)  -verb (used without object)
1.  to bend the knee or body or incline the head, as in reverence, submission, salutation, recognition, or acknowledgment.

"We were made to worship--our internal circuitry wired to worship.  Every moment you live, you live bowed to something.  And if you don't choose God, you'll bow down before something else..."    ~Ann Voskamp

Simply amazing.  The Creator God gives me the choice to worship Him ...or not.  I can worship whatever or whomever I choose...even myself if I want to. I can bow to bitterness and unforgiveness prostituting myself to toxic, deadly, selfish emotions.

Idolatry is where I find God's people in today's Advent reading in 1 Kings 18. It's the big showdown between the prophet Elijah, God's man, and the prophets of Baal and Jezebel...not of God.

There's always a showdown.  There's always a choice to be made.  So, today, I ask myself...."Who or what am I bowing down to?  What has my attention? What has my time and affections?"

"Jesus, the Gift, comes to give you freely 

through His passion what every other god forces you to get through your performance."

"The Greatest Gift"

Advent ~Fourteen~

Advent ~Fourteen~

The people who walked in darkness
  have seen a great light.
For those who lived in a land of deep shadows-
  light! sunbursts of light!
For a child has been born-- for us!
   the gift of a son--for us!
                  ~Isaiah 9:2

I was a little girl who always heard bumps in the night.  I was convinced, without a doubt, that there were monsters under my bed and in my closet. Nightlights are my friend!

The darkness of loneliness can't be dispelled with a tiny, on and off, nightlight. Loneliness soaks to the bone.  Like bitter cold to the body, it creates an ache and numbness in the soul that feels like it will never go away.

Christ-mas is about Light. The Light that came at an appointed time in eternity to illumine the darkness of forever hopelessness with unending Light.

"We are saved from forever pain, because God pierced the dark and came to the pinpoint of us in the universe and took the nails.

We are saved from loneliness because God is love and He can't stand to leave us by ourselves, to ourselves.

It's Christmas that dawns on you, and you only really believe in Christmas when you really live it.  When you light a dark world and the unexpected places with a brave flame of joy; when you warm the cold, hopeless places with the daring joy that God is with us, God is for us, God is in us; when you are a wick to light hope in the dark--

then you believe in Christmas."

"The Greatest Gift"

Light a candle today....everyday....

a glowing of joy...

a spark of hope...

Give a candle away today...

share the Light...

pass on the joy....

 the spark of hope...

Advent ~Thirteen~

Advent ~Thirteen~


Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.        ~Proverbs 4:23

My God is the God of the Inside-Out....

Unlike the world and society, He cares not for outer appearances.  He always goes for the heart.   Ann Voskamp says... "Advent is a baptism for the eyes. You only begin to change your life when you begin to change the way you see."

I want to see the world with God's eyes.  I'm writing through Advent because I want to see Christmas with God's eyes.  I want new vision....I want my heart to be filled with what is true and real.  I want to be true and real. I want my eyes baptized and washed clear so I can see hearts...not appearances.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace.

This hymn was written in 1918 by Helen Lemmel.  She was a gifted musician and song writer who became blind in mid-life.  Because of her blindness, her husband abandoned her...yet she journeyed on, seeing with her heart...

Her biography says she composed more than 500 hymns, poems and even a successful children's book.  She was still writing and composing up to thirteen days before her death at the graceful age of 98.

Advent ~Twelve~

                                     Advent ~Twelve~

See that tiny inscription on the inside of my hubby's wedding ring?  It is the anchor verse in Ann Voskamp's Advent writing today.

Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.  ~Ruth 1:16

Bitterness....it will eat right through a person.  It can blind us to the people who love us most and best.  Naomi, is Ruth's bitter, cynical mom-in-law. They find themselves widowed, alone, and traveling back to Naomi's homeland to a "who- knows- what" kind of a future.  Ruth refuses to return to her own mother's home and binds herself to Naomi for the rest of her life.  What a covenant of love...  

We all need a Ruth in our life.  Someone who can love us when we are prickly and cynical and bitter.  Someone who will travel with us when we are going "who-knows-where".  Someone who faithfully speaks truth and life to our weary, battered heart.

I am so grateful for those of you who have been reading along on this journey of mine.   You are my Ruths....I love you for walking with me.

Today I leave you with a question....one of Ann's reflection questions:

Like Naomi, do you sometimes miss the love all around you?

Name some of the people who have been faithful Ruths for you.

Let them know...

Advent ~Eleven~

Advent ~Eleven~

Rahab the Jericho Harlot...an unlikely heroine and most surprising of all...a non-Hebrew woman in the lineage of Jesus. You can read her story in Joshua 2 and Joshua 6.

Why did Rahab risk her life to hide the Jewish enemy spies?  Why did she lie to her king and send the sentries on a wild goose chase?  And what in the world made her think she could boldly negotiate with the spies for her life and the life of her family??  She was a prostitute with a more-than-tarnished reputation...no political or social standing...she owned nothing that would guarantee anyone would desire to preserve her life. With what did she secure the safety of her family and herself when Jericho was destroyed? Her simple faith of who God was, and a simple scarlet cord rescued this woman who had known only heartache and degradation her entire life. 

After I finished today's Advent reading, I realized that every time I see red ribbon wrapped packages... red beads encircling a tree... red cord tied pretties...I will think of Rahab and her faith...I will think of how God bestowed honor and dignity upon her by tying her into His family tree.

And in simple faith, I will reach for Jesus, whose blood ran red on a cruel Cross...

Advent ~Ten~

Advent ~Ten~

I am more sinful and flawed than I dared believe, more loved and welcomed than I ever dared hope.
                        -Elyse M. Fitzpatrick




Ann Voskamp centered her writing today around the Ten Commandments. The commandments are an invitation to relationship, a love letter.  God invites me to love Him, to love and respect my fellow man and myself.  He wants my willing obedience from an adoring and grateful heart.  And I fail...and He knows I will wander from His love....And He loves me anyway. 

That's my Advent message from Him today....HE LOVES ME ANYWAY...

"They say that to this day Jews dance when the Ten Commandments are recited.  Wooing love that makes the feet and the lights dance and the beloved weep." -Ann Voskamp

Advent ~Nine~

Advent ~Nine~

"Whatever happens, whatever unfolds, whatever unravels, you can never be undone."
                                           -Ann Voskamp

In her writing today, Ann uses the story of Joseph in Genesis 37 and 50.  Here's a refresher....Joseph was his daddy's favorite. Jacob, his father, had a special robe made for Joseph.  The other brothers, in crazed jealousy, sold Joseph into slavery, bloodied his beautiful robe with goat's blood and lied to their father that Joseph had met a violent death.  Dysfunction junction!  And, by the way, the lineage of Jesus...

In the last few chapters of Genesis, we find Joseph restored to his father and his brothers restored to him.  Because of his brother's hatred and cruel jealousy, he had endured prison, false accusations, false rape charges, abandonment by people he had helped, and loss of years with his family.  Yet, because of God's favor, he rose to a prominent position in the Egyptian Pharaoh's government. As he faces his brothers in Genesis 50, he says this to them..."As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.  So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones." He comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

Whatever you and I may be experiencing today or have endured in the past...God intends to turn it into a gift.  I don't know how or when.....but I cling to the words.."You cannot be undone."

That's why we can be so sure 

that every detail in our lives

of love for God

is worked into

something good.

Roman 8:28

Advent ~Eight~

Advent ~Eight~

"When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
           -Jesus
           Footprints in the Sand Poem

This poem is my dad's favorite.  He's never voiced why..but I think it has something to do with his battle with alcoholism and grace.  His life is strewn with the painful consequences of his choices.  Yet, nine days out of ten, you will find him with a smile, a joyful greeting, a twinkle in his eyes and a bear hug when you say goodbye.  He's been sober 17 years now....

Ann Voskamp gives voice today in her writing that sometimes we're just the most tired of trying to be strong.  Religion, programs, self-help books are all about what we have to do to finally "arrive".  But, for us, Jesus is the one who carries us...we who are lost and will never "arrive" and are bone weary of all the trying and striving.

Grace and rest are my Advent gifts today.  
Grace frees me to rest...to slow down...to not "arrive"...
Grace and rest are what I crave when I am so overwhelmed I run a stop sign I have been stopping at for 20 years....When I forget to return phone calls....When I space out sending business reports....When I begin skipping meals because I just don't have the energy to think about cooking...

I like my dad's poem.  I like that Jesus wants to carry me when I can't take one more step.  I like that He wants to carry you too... 

Advent ~Seven~

Advent ~Seven~

"You serve me a six course dinner
    right in front of my enemies.
You revive my drooping head;
    my cup brims with blessing."
               Psalm 23:5



Today, in my reading, I caught hold of the words...."I will provide grace for the gaps."  
I have a lot of gaps in my life.  How about you?  Has everything in your life turned out just the way you always dreamed it would be?  Have you ever asked the question...."Why me?"  

In today's Advent reading, Ann Voskamp expressed thoughts we sometimes hesitate to say out loud, to give voice to...to share with anyone else.  "I thought it would be easier."  "I thought it would be different."  "I thought I would be ...more."

Common to all of us are unmet expectations.  Expectations of ourselves, the people around us... and even God.  For myself, I have found expectations to be joy-robbers.  In all my "wanting" of things to be different, the people around me to act in certain ways, my weight to be a certain number, my bank account to overflow...I miss the provision of my God in the present, in the moment.  I am so focused on getting what I want that I become numb to what I have. 

Grace...He is my Gap-Filler.  He is Provider of all the blessings I didn't know I needed.  He invites me to come and sit...He's done all the cooking and preparation...He's provided everything....He has spared no expense....

Advent ~Six~

Advent ~Six~

Like somewhere between heaven and earth, there is mirth--the echo of angels.  Ann Voskamp

Have you ever been around someone whose laughter makes you laugh? Their laughter is so contagious, you just can't help yourself...you end up giggling with them.
My daughter and daughter-in-law have laughs like that.
My son and son-in-law make it their mission to get the two girls laughing...uncontrollably...snorts and all. Radene always describes it as "I'm going to pee my pants" laughter.  Gary and I enjoy the show and we all laugh until the tears run.

Sarah, 90 years old, and Abraham, 100 years old, cradle their promised son, Isaac. Genesis 21 lets us in on their joyous celebration.  God gave them a specific name for their son....a forever living reminder of His miracle...Isaac-"he laughs."  Sarah herself declared, "God has brought me laughter.  All who hear about this will laugh with me."

Laughter is a gift....shimmering and life-giving.  Today's reading shares this...
"In the press of a dark world, laughter comes to the Sarahs and the sufferers and the stressed as the reliever and then the reminder--the ache is not the last word for those who believe God.  Jesus is.  Jesus is the last word, and we rejoice and rejoice again and re-joy again because grace is our oxygen now."

A happy heart is good medicine, and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.  Proverbs 17:22

May we giggle and snort and allow joy to bubble up in our souls today.

Advent ~Five~

Advent ~Five~

I have a sweet friend who has walked a similar path with her father as I am walking with mine. Her father is now gone, but the graces that were deposited into her heart as she cared for her father...she now deposits into mine.  Always when I need it most, whether in person, over the phone or a random text or message...her wisdom and encouragement splash over my life from her overflow.

In today's reading, God promised Abram He would bless him when he left everything familiar and journeyed to an unknown destination.  Even before Abram had taken a step...God declared this blessing over him:
"I will make you into a great nation.  I will bless you....and you will be a blessing to others.  I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt.  All the families on the earth will be blessed through you."
After being blessed by God, Abram would in turn be a blessing to others. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 says it this way..."He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, He brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us"

Wrapping her words with a shiny bow, Ann Voskamp writes this ..."You will be experienced as a blessing--to the extent you have first experienced yourself as blessed.  You must feel the fullness of your own pitcher before you trust the pouring out of yourself.
Only when you first unwrap the gifts of blessings to you can you be wrapped up as a gift of blessing to others."

I pray for all of us today, as we experience the hardships of this life, and heal from the consequent sufferings, that we embrace the blessings that escorted us through and find ourselves to be "splash-ers of blessing."

Advent ~Four~

Advent ~Four~

"God, who hung the stars---He has taken a thread of His heart and tied it to yours.  And He didn't need to, but God tied His heart to yours so when you feel pain, He fills with pain."  Ann Voskamp

When my children were in school I would periodically grant them a "Time Out Day."  There were times they were worn out and simply needed a day of rest.  There would be movie watching, napping, junk food consumption,...whatever helped them to refuel and be ready to go back to their daily routine.

Today I declared it was "Jeralyn's Time Out Day!"  Since September when my dad had a minor stroke and heart attack, life has been more complicated and stressful than usual.  After his hospital stay he was transferred to a local nursing home for his therapy and rehab.  He won't be leaving that facility...his days of living alone and being independent are over. This morning I found myself a bit undone with the responsibility of packing up his life, meeting with lawyers, therapists, doctors, and making this transition as smooth as possible for both of us. There are days I feel like I am drowning...there are days when I am strong and assured. 

What captured my heart today as I read in "The Greatest Gift" was that God's heart hurts when my heart hurts. Psalm 56:8 floated into my mind, a tender reminder that He cares about everything that affects me:
"You've kept track of my every toss and turn
   through the sleepless nights,
Each tear entered in your ledger, 
   each ache written in your book."

Advent ~Three~

Advent ~Three~

When my son, Casey, was three years old, he hid behind a tree in the neighbor's front yard.  I called and called...."Casey, where are you?"  I was on the verge of panic when he gave away his hiding place with a little giggle.  It was one of those moments when anger and knee weakening relief coursed through me at the same time. Should I spank him or hug him?  I hugged him and then he received a good scolding!

In today's Advent reading, Adam and Eve were hiding from their Lord God.   Genesis 3:6-9 tells us that in the cool of the evening, God took a stroll through the garden. He called out to Adam and Eve, "Where are you?" He wanted them to know He was looking for them, even though He knew why they were hiding and exactly where they were. 

He asks the same question of me..."Jeralyn, where are you?"   He wants me to know He is searching for me.  And when I'm at my worst He still comes looking for me, seeking my presence and fellowship.  God, The Pursuer...

This is my favorite paragraph from today in "The Greatest Gift"...
"In all humanity's religions, man reaches after God.
But in all His relationships, God reaches for man.
Reaches for you who have fallen and scraped your heart raw, for you who feel the shame of words that have snaked off your tongue and poisoned the corners of your life, for you who keep trying to cover up pain with perfectionism."

There have been times of spiritual dryness in my life...I call it the dark night of the soul.  For many years I tried hiding in the performance routine to "fix" the lostness and confusion I was experiencing.  Be nicer, read my Bible more, pray more, go to church more, give more money, be the perfect wife, mother, employee... oh my....the list goes on and on.  Needless to say, none of it worked.

When I had finally worn myself out and had nothing left to give or do....I gave up...I came out of hiding. I quit struggling and quit striving.  I chose to be at peace with who I was and where I was in my spiritual life. The good, the bad, the ugly....warts and all. 

You see, Advent is Latin for "coming."  Advent is about His coming for you and me because He loves us.  He knows when we're lost, in pain and confused and He comes to rescue us.

Psalm 18:16-19 The Message Bible
But me he caught---reached all the way
  from sky to sea, he pulled me out
Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,
  the void in which I was drowning.
They hit me when I was down,
  but God stuck by me.
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
  I stood there saved---surprised to be loved!

Advent ~Two~

Advent ~Two~

I chased the sunset yesterday.....I could see it was going to be a golden beauty.  I started driving from the east end of our little town to the west seeking a side road free of obstructions so I could drink in the glowing radiance.


What a miracle this world is! Today's Advent thought from "The Greatest Gift" was from the first chapter of Genesis and the beginning of creation.  Each day, as God spoke this world into existence, He declared it was "good".  His final work of art was the creation of man and woman. To be even more specific...the woman, Eve, was the crown, the cherry on top.

"She is the crescendo, the final, astonishing work of God.  Woman.  In one last flourish creation comes to a finish not with Adam, but with Eve.  She is the Master's finishing touch.  Eve is breathtaking.
Given the way creation unfolds, how it builds to ever higher and higher works of art, can there be any doubt that Eve is the crown of creation?  Not an afterthought. Not a nice addition like an ornament on a tree.  She is God's final touch, His piece de resistance.  She fills a place in the world nothing and no one else can fill.  Step to a window, ladies, if you can.  Better still, find some place with a view.  Look out across the earth and say to yourselves, "The whole, vast world is incomplete without me.  Creation reached its zenith in me."
From the book, "Captivating", by John and Stasi Eldredge  

My Advent treasure from today is this....I am the crown of God's creation. When I think about saying that out loud, my heart beats a little faster....my mouth gets dry... I wonder if it's a bit egotistical....but, wait....didn't God declare it first?  It is His truth.  He designed that His love for me and for you would give us our worth and value.  There is absolutely nothing in the wondrous beauty of this created world that compares with the beauty and honor He has bestowed upon you and I.

Advent ~One~

 Advent ~One~

December has descended and the frenzies have begun...

Honestly,I am not a Christmas Elf.  I fall in the Bah! Humbug! category. I have done enough naval gazing for ten people to try and pinpoint why I can't embrace all the hoopla and celebration of the season.

When my children were at home, and now if we have grandchildren with us, I put up the tree and sprinkle the house with glimmer and sparkle.  On the years our children are not able to join us you wouldn't even know it was Christmas at my house.


Last year I picked up "The Greatest Gift" by Ann Voskamp, one of my favorite authors.
The book is an Advent writing, a devotional, a journey leading to Christ's birth.

Because Christmas has been difficult for me, Advent has always been a mystery and a "why bother".  But this year, I decided to be intentional about these days and weeks leading up to Christmas Day.

My first reading today tied into the scripture from Isaiah 11:1...the promise of a new shoot from a chopped to the ground stump.  What really engaged my heart and attention was the family tree of Jesus Himself.  I'm familiar with His lineage...but today was different.  Let me share what Ann wrote:

"The coming of Christ was right through families of messed up monarchs and battling brothers, through affairs and adultery and more than a feud or two, through skeletons in closets and cheaters at tables.  It was in that time of prophets and kings, the time of Mary and Joseph, that men were in genealogies and women were invisible.  But for Jesus, women had names and stories and lives that mattered.
The family tree of Christ startlingly notes not one woman but four.  Four broken women--women who felt like outsiders, like has-beens, like never-beens.  Women who were weary of being taken advantage of, of being unnoticed and uncherished and unappreciated; women who didn't fit in, who didn't know how to keep going, what to believe, where to go-women who thought about giving up.  And Jesus claims exactly these who are wandering and wondering and wounded and worn out as His.  He grafts you into His line and His story and His heart, and He gives you His name, His lineage, His righteousness.  He graces you with plain grace."

So today, as I read this...I felt a little shoot sprout up in my heart.....the hope of something new....my shoot is small...hardly visible....but it is green and alive and full of promise. I am one of those weary, not fitting in women that Jesus has claimed as His.... a Grace Woman....a plain and simple Grace Woman.

I hope you'll come sit with me every December day as I wonder and wander along my Advent journey. 

SPINNING PLATES....

Spinning Plates....

All the wasted energy and time to keep all the plates in the air....to look good...to appear productive and talented...

Do you ever get the question, "Are you keeping busy?"  Honestly, I hate that question.  My answer has become..."As busy as I want to be."  That usually gets an odd look from the person making the small talk who really didn't care anyway. I see men ask each other the "busy-ness" question with puffed out chests like strutting roosters, playing the one-up game to see who is the king of busy.  I wonder why we as humans need to prove our worth and value to one another by our datebook?

Recently, my journal notes have been questions such as...how do I want my life to be? What do I want to do with my time?  Who do I want to do my life with? What is important to me and what needs to be discarded?  What memories do I want to be making with my friends and loved ones? 

I want my life to be intentional...designed....done on purpose. 

What about you?  Is your life intentional or driven by other people's choices and decisions?  Or maybe you are a slave to your datebook and busy-ness...
I hope you will take some time to consider your life and how you want to live it.

The Angels rejoice with applause as the dizzy spinning plates 

in slow motion fall ...

  shattering ...irreparable...not to be salvaged.

God nods His head and smiles...

now...finally... He can commune with His weary child...

Breathe life over her...

Restore her mind and emotions deadened and numbed

by fear ....

Now in the stillness she can know that she is 

loved....cherished...valued...

worthy...

loved just as she is...

...Harlot

....Harlot

For many weeks I have had the Biblical story from Luke 7:36-50 wandering around in my thoughts coupled with reading a book on grace by Tullian Tchividjian titled..."One Way Love...Inexhaustible Grace For An Exhausted World".

The story in Luke 7 is one of my favorites.  The main characters are Jesus, an "immoral woman", and the host..Simon the Pharisee.  I like this immoral woman....
she had chutzpah! (The Yiddish term for audacity.) 

But let me back up a bit and set the scene by describing what should have happened culturally when Jesus entered the home of Simon the Pharisee who had extended a dinner invitation to Jesus and his disciples.

No cars, bikes, mopeds, skateboards, buses, taxis.  Only walking on dirty, dung and excrement covered roads.  No Nikes, Toms or designer foot wear. Bare feet would have been rough and calloused, caked with dirt and scum and foul smelling.

Initially, a welcoming and honoring host would have provided servants to wash the hot, weary, dirty feet of his guests.  He would have greeted his guests with a kiss and anointed their heads with oil, a mark of respect for those entering his home.

Simon and his Pharisee friends probably had ulterior motives in inviting Jesus for a meal.  In their jealousy and fear, they wanted to trap him in some scandalous and Law breaking behavior to destroy his reputation and popularity.

Somehow, in a world void of all the techie devices we have to spread news and information, this immoral woman in the story knew Jesus was going to be at Simon's home.  And she showed up to see Jesus!  Somewhere His message of forgiveness, grace and acceptance had overwhelmed and healed her weary, hard, imbittered heart.

Her life had been one of shame, despair, and hopelessness.  She was shunned by society, an outcast. Daily tasks were done either in the heat of the day, when no-one else was out, or under the cover of darkness

Here is the "rest of the story" as written by Tullian... 
"Now, not only was this woman despised for her lifestyle, she was evidently unafraid of adding fuel to the fire.  First, she entered Simon's home uninvited and unaccompanied. "Who does she think she is?  How dare she?"  everyone in attendance would have murmured in shocked dismay.  This is the last person you would want coming to a dinner party.  She wasn't crashing just any dinner party...it was a party at the home of a religious leader, a Pharisee, a holy man, the opposite of a place where she might conceivably be welcome.  So here she came, this epitome of everything a woman should not be...rebellious, promiscuous, uncouth, foolish, and very likely diseased....and she threw herself down at the feet of Simon's guest.  Why didn't she just wait for Jesus outside or try to catch him beforehand?  Why wasn't she afraid of what would happen?

Her brazenness didn't end there.  No, the indignities just kept multiplying.  Out from under her soiled robes, she brought an alabaster flask of ointment. Onlookers could easily surmise where she had gotten the money to buy it and for what purposes she had previously used it.  But now she fell behind a reclining Jesus, while Simon, the disciples, and even the house slaves stood aghast.  She poured her precious perfume on Jesus's feet.  Then she uncovered her head (another religious no-no), took down her hair, and used her hair as a towel to clean him.  Apparently she wept so intensely that her tears made a bath for his calloused, dry feet.  And then she kissed him, his feet.  Over and over again. And he welcomed it.  Jesus welcomed the kisses of a whore.  She, the defiled was cleaning Jesus, the pure.

Clearly, this woman had come to the end of herself.  Like an addict hitting bottom, she had died to everything but her desire for help.  She ran to Christ and he did not turn her away.  Grace begins where pride ends."    ~One Way Love

This woman worshiped without words.  We have no record of her promising to "do better"....no prayers prayed....nothing signed. As Tullian further notes about her...."Just tears and kisses and audacious love."

Jesus assured her that her sins were forgiven, her faith had saved her and told her to go in peace.  Peace....something she had never known... calming... strengthening...life-giving peace.

Jesus also had a lesson for Simon.  As only Jesus could do...he calmly recounted the evening and Simon's lack of graciousness and courtesy.  The customs of hospitality that Simon had blatantly refused to extend to Jesus, the immoral woman had provided....his feet were washed, anointed and kissed in gratitude. He exposed Simon's self-righteousness and the false thinking that Simon had based on his religious performance.

Because of her self-less love and humility, the harlot was more "righteous" than Simon the Pharisee.  
Jesus gave dignity, restoration and healing to this woman who had nothing to offer but her tears....

EMPTY NESTING....

Empty Nesting...

When I was 19 and walking down a wedding aisle, I gave no thought to this current season of my life.

I was naive and giddy, excited to begin the adventure of marriage. I was ready for this fairy tale...the happily ever after... or so I thought.

  
Looking back, all I can say is, "oh my....".  We were clueless, as most couples are, about the work marriage is.  Two dysfunctional people, who don't know they are dysfunctional, loaded down with emotional baggage and unrealistic expectations....oh my...

Before our two year anniversary we celebrated the birth of our daughter. Before our 5 year anniversary we welcomed our son into our little family.

If you have followed my blog, you are familiar with my story of being the adult child of an alcoholic.  Our family life was disrupted over and over again with the drama addiction brought into our lives.  Every 2-3 years, I was leaving my husband and children to sit in a hospital room, as my dad had again drank himself to death's door. We were always open and honest with our children, in age appropriate terms, about what was transpiring and why grandpa was "sick" again. Little did we know that our openness and honesty was laying the groundwork for how we would relate to our children as they became adults and how they would relate to those around them.

I did not parent perfectly...shocker isn't it?!  I was a smother mother, control freak, sometimes screaming crazy woman.  

Over the years, as I have pursued my emotional healing and God has faithfully been restoring me by His grace, I have apologized to my children for failing them.  I have given them the freedom to come to me at any point in time and honestly share their feelings with me about how my behavior hurt them.
I did not want the secrecy and "sweep it under the rug" mentality that I had grown up with to continue on to another generation....and another....and another...

It never fails, every time we are all together, my children and their spouses relish in telling "mom" stories.  It used to twist my heart and I would overcompensate by trying to fix it by apologizing all over again. (Add "fixer" to my imperfect parenting traits!)  Now I am able to relax and just laugh with them. I know they don't bring the past up to be cruel or to exact revenge.  The reality is, the past is woven into the fabric of our lives along with forgiveness and restoration, love and respect.

The caption for the image of the empty nest above is..."seeds-in-birds-nest".  When my children left home, I remember sitting in their empty rooms and weeping.  I didn't know what my life would be like without them.  In His all knowing mercy and provision, God had already lined my empty nest with seeds that would sprout into many yet unknown paths, adventures, heartaches and the most delightful joys called grandchildren. 

And for almost 38 years, my husband and I continue to live out our "fairy tale" one day at a time....one argument at a time....one kiss at a time...

Lately, my favorite verse of Scripture has been Proverbs 31:25.  In the New English Translation it reads...."She is clothed with strength and honor, and she can laugh at the time to come."

I'm laughing.....I hope you are too...

TEARS....

TEARS....


We are all familiar with tears.  Our own and those of people we love and care for. I have even caught a glimpse of a stranger in a restaurant wiping a stray tear...hoping no one noticed their vulnerability.

I have seen tears used for control and manipulation. Probably even tried that one myself. Tears can be mysterious, especially when they seem to come from no-where.  I have started to relay a story and have become so overcome with emotion that I couldn't continue and found myself saying..."I don't know where that came from."

What makes you cry?  What touches your heart?  Are you willing to be moved to tears?  Are you uncomfortable with strong emotions?

Emily Freeman in her book, "A Million Little Ways", says it like this:

"What does it matter what makes you cry or tear up?
...maybe our tears are tiny messengers, secret keepers of the most vulnerable kind, sent to deliver the most important message-Here is where your heart beats strong.  Here is a hint to your design.  Here is a gift from your inner life, sent to remind you of those things that make you come alive.
These tears carry the gift of your desire.  Listen to them.
Change in the world comes when we acknowledge what moves us and why.
Listen to what makes you cry."

I wrapped my arms around a grieving widow last week.  She had lost her husband of 35 years to a sudden tragic accident.  I felt and heard her sobs...but she had run out of tears to cry.  So I cried some for and with her. The day of the funeral, I again heard her sobs as she and her family waited at the back of the church to make their way to the front. She looked out at a church filled to overflowing with a community that had suspended daily routine to remember the life of her husband and support his broken family.

I cried as I saw her grown son standing tall beside her, carrying his father's ashes with tenderness and honor. I imagined the father had held this son with similar tenderness and honor on the day he was born.

Years ago I was in a heated "discussion" with a person in the inner circle of my life.  It was not going well. With my back to this person, I was rendered to silent tears.  In the silence... spoken at my back, came the words..."Your tears do not move me."  My heart was seared as if with a branding iron.  Right or wrong, I made an inner vow that I would never weep in front of that person again.  

Psalm 56:8 puts infinite value on our tears...

"You have kept record of my days of wandering.

You have stored my tears in Your bottle

and counted each of them."

So, my friend....listen to your tears....they have a message for your heart and your life.