Friday, January 31, 2014

FINISH LINE...

FINISH LINE...

Whoo Hoo!!  I did it!

I accepted a 31 day challenge to write 500 words a day from a total stranger I follow through social media. Today is the last day of that challenge.

Crazy....right?

What in the world made me think I could do such a thing?

Here are my credentials that qualified me to take on this writing challenge...(I'm being facetious...smile...)

  • High School Graduate
  • LPN Nursing School Graduate
  • Physician's Office Nurse
  • Avon Representative
  • Sample Lady in a Grocery Store
  • Mary Kay Beauty Consultant
  • Home Decor Retail
  • Barista
  • Home Depot Cashier
  • Home Depot Expediter
  • Home Depot Delivery Coordinator
  • Bible Study/Support Group Facilitator
I bet you are looking for the English degree...or the communications degree that would make some sense of why I even imagined I could write 500 words for 31 days.

No, no degrees in English, communications or journalism.

I simply considered the rules set forth by the gentleman stranger, Jeff Goins:
"For the next 31 days, we’ll be writing 500 words a day. These won’t be great words, but they will be written. We’re not trying to reach perfection; we’re just trying to get more ideas out of our heads and onto paper."

 I thought....maybe...just maybe....I could do that. 

I had been desiring to fire up my blog again, so why not combine both activities?

You see...I am  a middle age woman.  One of the so-called sandwich generation, care-taking  of elderly parents on one hand, and involving myself in the lives of children and grandchildren on the other hand.

I have lived the majority of my life.  I don't say that to be morbid, it is just reality.

I journal everything...I am very introspective on a daily basis.  This stage of life has compelled me to be more introspective than usual.

The question that has quietly, patiently kept pursuing me is this...do I want to continue a life of merely surviving ...rut plodding...shadow living?

Or....

Take some risk?  Try something new?  Trust in the desire's of my heart?

Writing every day has been my timid first steps out of the shadows where I have been hiding for a few years.

The reasons behind my hiding, or being in my desert..as I call it, are no longer important.
What my Father did in my heart and soul during that time is the real story of my life.

Author and pastor, Timothy Keller shared this quote today..."Many times people think if God has called you to something he's promising success.  He might be calling you to fail to prepare you for something else through the failure."

Failure has dotted my past.  I finally understand that failure isn't final or fatal.
And now, after reading the above quote, I am pondering the option that my failures were fashioning me, laying the groundwork for "something else".

Honestly, I don't know what my "something else" is.  It is a mystery to be uncovered. Every day I wake up excited to look for clues....after my morning coffee, of course.

I will continue my blog....searching for my "something else"...gathering clues...enjoying the mystery of my journey.







Thursday, January 30, 2014

ONLY ONE...

ONLY ONE...

In the book of Luke, chapter 17, Luke the physician writes the account of Jesus healing 10 lepers.

Leprosy is a disease that strikes terror in hearts and minds.  From the Old Testament to New Testament to modern day, leprosy is feared.

Leprosy does not kill, it just erodes a body away. It begins on the surface of the skin and eats inward to the bones.  It disfigures.  It deforms.

In Biblical times, a person with leprosy was banned from the community, shunned.  They lived alone, isolated from family and friends.  They could no longer pursue their livelihoods and provide for their loved ones. Because the disease is contagious, all precautions had to be taken to protect the healthy.

A leper could be easily identified.  Their clothes were torn...a sign of deep grief, their heads uncovered.  They were to keep their distance and warn of their presence by covering their mouths and crying out, "Unclean!  Unclean!"  

Today I'm not writing about the nightmare of leprosy or the doctrine of divine healing.

I'm writing about the simple act of saying...."Thank you".

ONLY ONE leper, of the 10 that were healed, returned to Jesus shouting praises.  He fell on his face at Jesus' feet, and gratefully said  "thank you".

One would think, given the crippling mutilating nature of the disease, and the emotional death of being an outcast, that the other 9 would have also fallen at Jesus' feet in joyful gratitude.

Their rotting festering skin became new...pink... healed. Their minds cleared....the shame of being loathed lifted.  They could now be reunited with their families and friends, return to their trades, be useful and productive. They could walk through their villages unnoticed, quietly going about their day.

What happened?  Did they obtain what they cried out for and walk away without so much as a glance back at Jesus?

In our lives today...what happens?  

Are we generous in our tip giving to the college student who is our server in the restaurant?  A practical way to say "thank you".

Do we say thank you when someone opens a door for us?  Do we open doors for others?

Do we ask, "how are you?" to the cashier in the local box store.  She's the single mom, standing on concrete floors for 8 hrs, so she can provide for her children. Do we tell her "thank you" as she hands us our receipt?

Most importantly, do we say thank you to those in our own homes?  Children helping with chores...a spouse that pitches in to get the kids to bed.  A simple "thank you" can shield against the build up of resentment, and loved ones feeling unappreciated.

Are we aware of the power an attitude of thankfulness can infuse into our lives?  Being thankful and giving voice to our gratitude will protect our thoughts and our emotions.  Just being mindful of the simplest of graces will plant seeds of hope in our hearts. 

For example...thankful for the taste and aromas of food....even having food to eat....warm sunshine on our face...birds singing...blooming flowers....a butterfly in flight...the smile of a stranger....a hug from a child....the pureness of fresh fallen snow...the smell of spring rain...

Start today by telling someone you are thankful for them...grateful for their presence in your life...share a smile...a hug...write a note of thanks...leave an extra generous tip for that college student...compliment the cashier...

For me, Ann Voskamp, is the modern day herald for the art of being thankful.
Her bestseller, one thousand gifts, chronicles her own journey of gratefulness in the midst of life's pain and trials.  If you read only one book this year....may it be this one.  It has the seeds to change your life.
You can find her blog here....http://www.aholyexperience.com/

I am thankful for you....giving your time to read the words of my heart.

May you be encouraged....may you discover the sweet choice of giving thanks.








Wednesday, January 29, 2014

REST....

REST....

God, my shepherd;
I don't need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.
Psalm 23  The Message

Are you tired?  Worn out?  Burned out on religion?  Come to me.  Get away with me and you'll recover your life.  I'll show you how to take a real rest.  Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it.  Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.  I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.
Matthew 11:28-30  The Message

Rest ~ the nector of healing....

Quiet ~ baptism of stillness...bask in the peace...

Breathe ~ pause...close your eyes...inhale....exhale...

Direction ~ path...compass...journey...desire...longing...passion...

There comes a time in your life when you have to...stop.

There is nothing left to give...your reserves are gone.

You've been dutifully singing someone else's song when you really wanted to be dancing...leaping...skipping to the harmonies resonating in your soul...

The rules....the demands...the expectations...they are endless...they are heavy...suffocating...

Sleep is... fleeting...illusive...

Who sees?.....Who understands?....Who cares?...

Your heart....trembling...quivering...fearful....weak...

What now?...What's next?...Which way?...

A Voice...soft...gentle...whispering...calling...pursuing...

Come with Me...surrender the restlessness...linger...

Watch...observe...listen...absorb...allow My calm to revive you...

Be wrapped in My light...free...unfettered...rescued...released...

Hear the rhythm...spontaneous...graceful...pure...simple...

Tune your heart to My...presence...steadiness...goodness...love...

Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you.
I've called your name.  You're mine.
When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you.
When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you're between a rock and a hard place, 
it won't be a dead end-
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
Isaiah 43:1-2

Praying for the brand-new...the never before...for you and me...

In our weaknesses and our failings...may we be gentle and forgiving with our crepe paper emotions...

May we settle in the now of where we are...reposing...our head resting on the pillow of contentment...

We are unique...rare...one of a kind...

May we embrace the mystery of who we are with courage...trust...

When our soul is empty...may we give ourselves the gift of restoration...peace...renewal...solitude...

May we celebrate the God who created us...who eternally watches over us...faithfully leads us in strength and tenderness...

He is the lifter of our heads...

The establish-er of our steps...

He sees what no one else sees...He shields us in our sorrow...wipes away our tears...

As He fills us up to overflowing....may we be ever aware of those who need a drink of His grace...

May we be mindful of those who need our hands extended in mercy and compassion...

May we pour out what has been poured in....and fill up again...




















Tuesday, January 28, 2014

LORI'S TRIBUTE.....

LORI'S TRIBUTE.... 

Lori Holzworth Acton  August 14, 1957 - January 28, 2013

The hand written date on the back of this photo is 1959. Lori, the cute little blond in overalls, and myself were 2 years old.  We are cousins, 2 months apart in age.

Growing up as an only child, cousins were my surrogate siblings.  Because of our age, Lori and I were especially close.  

We shared a childhood of sleep overs, color books, mud pies, and dress up.

In our pre-teen years we shared the giggly crushes on the band members of the Monkees, Bobby Sherman and David Cassidy.

High school signaled our journey to adulthood.  We attended different schools and our times together became wedged between school activities, friends and boyfriends. 

Lori set out for college, I got married, and our lives transitioned.  Our times together became dependent on her coming to Colorado to see her parents and siblings.

Today is the one year marker of Lori's unexpected, sudden death.  It still doesn't seem real.  Her family and friends still grieve. 

She made a lasting impact on everyone she came in contact with.  She had a laugh that would fill a room with joy.  It was contagious and you couldn't help yourself...you had to laugh with her. 

She was ever positive, encouraging and forgiving.  She drew people to her with her warm, engaging personality. 

She reveled in life and life reveled in her.  She adored her husband, Larry, and he adored her.  Lori opened her arms to Larry's four children and raised them as her own.  She called them her "heart" children.

Lori earned a Masters in Library Science and guided the Laurel County Public Library as Executive Director for 28 years.    She orchestrated the expansion of the library, completed in 2004, from a small building to a first class facility.  

Deputy Director of the library, Peggy Mershon, said this about Lori in the local newspaper...
"The library was more than a job to Lori-it was her passion and she worked tirelessly to make the library a place everyone could come and enjoy and learn.  From babies to senior, she wanted this library to offer whatever it could to enrich their lives and the community."

After her death, The House of Representatives and the Senate of the General Assembly of the Commonwealth of Kentucky honored Lori with a proclamation read in their respective chambers. Here are a few of the declarations they spoke to recognize her....

...a Colorado native but a Kentucky treasure.
...a prized jewel in her community.
...unmatched leadership.
...passionate dedication to literacy and learning.
...love for her community.
...an infectious laugh that could brighten any day.
...deeply devoted to her family.

That cute little blond girl in the picture grew up to be a successful, loving, passionate woman.  She became a leader and a visionary in her community.

I end this day with the same words of adjournment the House and Senate of Kentucky ended with on the day of Lori's proclamation..

"When the House of Representatives/Senate adjourns this day, it does so in honor and loving memory of Lori Acton."








Monday, January 27, 2014

Coffee Cafe.... My 500 Words January 27, 2014

COFFEE CAFE....

Discovered this coffee shop in the picture in Estes Park, CO over the weekend.  Delightful! Sunlight streamed through huge picture windows. Tall windows graced three sides of the building allowing me to take in the beautiful, tranquil winter scenery as I sipped my warm dark roast brew.

If you know me at all....you know I have this crazy love affair with coffee and the unique places it can be enjoyed in.  I am not a connoisseur, but I am a bit of a coffee snob. 

 I couldn't tell you diddly about the roasting process or what type of bean comes from what geographical location. But my palette knows what it likes.

As a very little girl, my little Grandma Molly would fix me a cup of coffee. Mostly cream, a couple of those fun sugar cubes, and a trickle of coffee. I was hooked.

My next memory of coffee consumption was out of a Styrofoam cup.  My fellow nursing students and myself gulped it down to wake us up in the early mornings and get us through long afternoons of classes.

"Starry Night Expresso Cafe" in Ft. Collins, CO, was inviting, cozy, unconventional, quaint and my first experience with expresso.  I was a big girl now... and unlike my Grandma Molly's recipe,  I liked more coffee than cream in my mug.

When I travel, if there is a Starbucks anywhere close....I will find it.  Isn't that what that GPS app is for??

In my own little hamlet, I frequent the local bistro.  I load a bag with more books than I can read, a journal and pens.  I sit for a couple of hours and watch the world go by through large pane windows. 

There isn't a dryer buzzer going off for the third time, a sink full of dirty dishes, toilets that need to be cleaned, and floors that need to be vacuumed.  I can sit and sip and dream.

There is a mystique about coffee cafe's and bistros that draws me like a magnet.
I've come to the conclusion it is the people factor.  It is the person to person connection.  Even sitting alone, a person has the opportunity to interact with the people around them.

A simple cup of coffee offers the face to face conversation that is becoming a lost art in our society.  I treasure the moments spent over a cup of coffee catching up with a friend or family member.  

As I sat in the coffee shop in Estes Park, I watched a steady stream of people come and go.  

Young mommies with strollers and toddlers in tow, trying to grab some "adult time" over little bobbing heads and impatient wails of hunger from their babies.

Those brave and daring mountain bicyclists meeting up for a caffeine jolt before challenging the canyon highway.

The couple meeting for a morning date over coffee and bagels.  Shy, yet familiar in their eye contact and tentative touching.

Tables were filled with groups of friends and families. They
were laughing, smiling engaged with one another, enjoying the opportunity of starting the day with warm fellowship.

Overstuffed chairs and sofas welcomed coffee drinkers into their depths of comfort and relaxation.

 A solitary college student huddled over her computer screen, earplugs in, studying intently.

As a child, I remember family and friends gathering at kitchen tables, drinking coffee and sharing the details of their lives.  Hearts were knit together, sorrows were wept over, joys were celebrated.  People taking time for one another.

For me, that's the mystique of the modern day "kitchen table", the coffee cafe. People making time to pause in their busy schedules to sit across from a friend over a steaming cup of coffee.  To share their lives...laugh....cry...encourage...care.





Sunday, January 26, 2014

Recovery of a Mountain Town....My 500 Words January 26, 2014

RECOVERY OF A MOUNTAIN TOWN....

At the beginning of September, 2013, it rained....and rained....and rained....

A hundred miles away I watched my computer screen as a videographer captured the rushing, raging water washing down the main street of the little tourist town of Estes Park, CO..

As the days passed, scenes of unbelievable flood destruction floated across my TV.

I live on the rural plains of Colorado.  No mountains.  Only wheat fields, corn fields, and pastures dotted with grazing cattle.

Estes Park is close enough to be far away.  I can travel a mere one hundred miles and be surrounded by mountains.  It is a delightful day trip my husband and I have been enjoying for more years than I can remember.  It is our "go to" destination for birthdays and anniversaries.  The opportunity to spend a night or two is a welcome respite. It is our home away from home.  

My heart was heavy as the details of the flood destruction unfolded.   Big Thompson Canyon/Hwy 34 is the 17 mile route used to reach Estes from Loveland.  The estimate was 75-80% of that roadway was damaged, destroyed or missing entirely.  The projected date for travel worthy temporary repair was at least one year. Permanent fixes were going to take years.  My hat is off to the Colorado Dept. of Transportation.  They had Hwy 34 to Estes repaired for travel in 10 weeks.  Amazing!

This past Thursday my husband and I set out to check on our home away from home.  My dad's caretakers were scheduled for consecutive days and we were able to be away.  I was anxious to see how "our" little town had survived. Questions raced through my mind.  What was the highway like?  Did our favorite stores still exist?  Were they open?  How was Tom the wild life photographer? What happened to the houses built on the sides of the canyon, just yards from the river's edge?  

We observed remnants of flood damage miles before we drove into Big Thompson canyon.  Closed businesses with piles of dirt and debris in their once full parking lots. Telltale masses of dried vegetation wrapped around barb wired fences.  

Upon entering the canyon, we could soon discern new pavement from previously existing blacktop. Temporary concrete barriers replaced iron railings that had washed away with complete sections of highway.
Giant Cat back-hoes with thick rubber tracks were still working in the middle of the river bed.  Their metal arms and lobster-claw like buckets were removing debris and filling semi-trucks parked along the roadway.

We drove by massive piles of the remains of homes and businesses.  A random leather chair dumped precariously atop a pile was a somber reminder of families that were now homeless.

Houses hung off the canyon walls with gaping holes in their foundations.  Sticks of lumber dangled in mid-air.  Decks that had hosted parties, made memories, and offered evenings of relaxation were now crumpled and ravaged.

When we arrived in Estes we drove the length of Elkhorn Avenue, the main thoroughfare.  We wanted to see for ourselves if our old friend still looked the same.

The next day we walked the length, both sides, of Elkhorn.  We visited our favorite shops and asked how they were doing and listened to the details of their recovery.  They were positive, upbeat, grateful to the crews that had repaired the roads, hopeful for the future.  With the exception of one garden-level restaurant, every business was up and running.  Quite a feat considering many buildings had to be gutted and completely remodeled.

In 2014 there is the possibility that there could be a 30% reduction in out-of-state tourism for Estes....that is a loss of 31.4 million dollars and 335 jobs.
Those numbers are staggering.

Give yourself the gift of a day away and wander up the beautiful canyon to roam through this gem of a mountain town. Linger over a meal.  Purchase a souvenir or two.  It is a gorgeous, relaxing trip any time of the year. Summer and fall are breath-taking.  

I know you will love my home away from home as much as I do.





Thursday, January 23, 2014

Gone Fishin' My 500 Words January 23-25, 2014

Date with my hubby.....be back Sunday, January 26, 2014

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Got Luggage...? My 500 Words January 22, 2014

GOT LUGGAGE...?

Dreams... what are your dreams?  Do you allow yourself to dream?

Venice, Italy is one of my dreams.  The canal streets of water fascinate me.  The portrayal of floating on a gondola with your lover is the ultimate romantic scene.  If your gondolier happens to be singing love songs in Italian, well, that puts the romance factor over the top.

I have a collection of old suitcases, used as decor, strewn about my house.  I have pictures of far away places on my walls.  I am a travel bug that doesn't travel much.  Even the wallpaper on my cell phone is  a soothing ocean view.

I tell myself, if I had the financial means, I would travel all the time. But...would I really?  Or is it just the "idea" of traveling that captures my imagination? 

In 2007, the movie, "The Bucket List", created a revenue of over 175 million dollars.  The term "bucket list" became entwined in our culture and our vocabulary.  Why?  What was the phenomenon of the two main characters facing death that hooked our attention? 

This is from a movie overview...
"Corporate billionaire Edward and working class mechanic Carter have nothing in common except for their terminal illnesses. While sharing a hospital room together, they decide to escape and do all the things they have ever wanted to do before they die according to their "bucket list". In the process, both of them heal each other, become unlikely friends, and ultimately find the joy in life ... "

So many people I knew were writing their "bucket lists" after seeing the movie.  What inspired them?  Could the reality of their finite-ness and mortality have been a motivator?

Have you ever heard someone say..."well, when I retire I am going to do____."  Yet, have you ever heard a dying person despair because they wish they would have worked more? I can't say I have.  I have never heard anyone voice regrets, on their death bed, over wanting to have spent more hours at the office or to have made more money.

We've all heard the heartbreaking stories of people finally retiring only to have their spouse die, or one of them becomes afflicted with a terminal illness.  Or, the retiree dies and leaves behind a spouse who had been patiently waiting for the long promised time together.

What a pity that humans value their self-importance in a career over their loved ones and the simple joys of living.

Don't wait until an illness renders you or a loved one unable to live out your dreams and desires.  Why wait for some vague, indeterminate time frame? It's as senseless as using the "good dishes and silver" only on special occasions....or the heirloom tablecloth from Grandma Sophie that only graces the table at Easter...or your aunt's beautiful necklace that is reserved for the opera....or the restored car that has deteriorated in a shed since Grandpa Joe died.

My conviction is this.....do it now!  Get the good china and silver out for the pizza and the hot dogs and the morning cereal.  Wear that elegant pearl necklace and earrings from a beloved aunt with your blue jeans or your pj's, if you want to.  Use that delicate tablecloth when the grand-kids come.

What in the world are you waiting for???



Tuesday, January 21, 2014

House or Home...? My 500 Words January 21,2014

HOUSE OR HOME....?

Bungalow....just the word makes me sigh.  The bungalow style of architecture is my favorite.  The exterior appearance is simple and comfortable, always including a front porch from which one can watch the world go by.

The interior workmanship is warm, cozy and wrapped in wood in the Arts and Crafts decorative design.  Fireplaces, inglenooks, claw-foot tubs, stained and leaded glass windows, breakfast nooks, built-in sideboards and book cases.

This quote from a 1910 bookplate inscription describes a bungalow and it's idyllic lifestyle best:  "A small house, a large garden, a few friends, and many books."

I live in a, not quite 1200 square foot, house.  I have made a life in this little abode for 38 years. Two children nested here until it was time for them to step out into a life of their own.  The one constant in this little house has been the presence of friends and family.

Once a year our children and grandchildren are all here together.  With only one bedroom, that creates strategic planning for sleeping arrangements.  Cushions come off chairs and couches, sleeping bags are lined up, and air mattresses inflated. It's not the Ritz Carlton by any means.  But most important, at least to me, we are all together

Once a month a group of friends are welcomed into our house for a pot-luck meal.  There are five of us who worked together for a few years.  Our hearts were bonded.  Even though we are now scattered to other employment and circumstances, we continue to find time to join together with our families and catch up on our lives. This month we had the addition of my in-laws to celebrate my father-in-law's birthday.

We numbered 14 adults and 2 children.  One friend was concerned it was too many people in our limited space and didn't want me to become overwhelmed.  I shared with her that I was one of those crazy mothers who had invited a multitude of family members to celebrate my children's all important first birthdays.  I had managed to tuck at least 45 people into every room available for both of my children's first birthday parties!

But....hospitality in my house used to have a dark side.  I wanted everything to be perfect when guests came.  In my preparations, I became a not-so-nice mommy and wife.  A sharp tongue, short temper, tension.....it was not a pleasurable experience to have friends over.

My children love the story of the time I was "sent to my room".  In addition to cleaning and cooking to prepare for guests, I was also nagging and scolding.  My husband had finally had enough and informed me I needed to go to my room for awhile.  You can imagine my children standing there with wide eyes wondering what I was going to do.  For a brief moment, the day and my poor behavior replayed through my mind.  I knew I was in the wrong and shamefully headed to my banishment.  My husband's final admonishment was..."don't come out until you can be nice."

One day, in brutal honesty, my husband told me he would prefer we no longer invite people over for meals and fellowship.  The strain my performance based behavior was putting on our household was too much.  You need to know this about my husband to understand the cost to him of his request.  He is the consummate people person. He doesn't know a stranger.  He is outgoing and welcoming, accepting of people from all walks of life. He thrives around people.

That was my wake up call.  Why in the world did I become such a nut case when opening my house to friends and family?  Very simple really.   Insecurities, people pleasing, and performance for acceptance.  My BIG 3.  How grievous that I would cause our house to become silent and lifeless with my selfish inhibitions.

I can happily report that I now open my home to our friends and family without thought of dust bunnies, dirty dishes, grimy oven, stained and worn upholstery.  I have come to the conclusion that time is precious and fleeting and loved ones of much more value than sparkling windows and immaculate furnishings. And I can thankfully say that I haven't been banished to my room for quite some time!

Did you happen to notice that I used the term "house" until the previous paragraph? A house is just materials and space.  A home is filled with an atmosphere born of peace and contentment.  A home reaches out and embraces you with love and acceptance.  A home is a safe haven from a world of disjointedness and pain.

May you find comfort in a home and not merely exist in a house....






Sunday, January 19, 2014

My 500 Words January 19, 2014 FRIENDS...

FRIENDS....

I've heard it said if you can count your close friends on one hand you are a blessed and rare person.

Definition of a friend: a person attached to another by feelings of affection of personal regard.

Interestingly enough, when I researched the definition of the word "friend", it gave social-networking contacts as one of the definitions.

Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and a host of others I am not personally familiar with, are all designed to connect you with your "friends".  I can follow and be followed by people I don't even know and will probably never meet in my lifetime.  It's interesting and uncomfortable at the same time.  Learning, expanding my world view and gleaning wisdom from other people is intriguing.  On the other hand, opening my life to strangers is a bit awkward.

What is your definition of a friend?  What is your criteria for sharing your heart?  Who do you call your friend?

In their respective generations, television sit-coms like "Friends" and "Cheers", highlighted friendship and relationships in a whole new light.  I often find myself humming the line from the "Cheers" theme song....'You wanna go where everybody knows your name'.

Isn't that what we are all searching for?  Someone to know our name....love us as we are, warts and all?  Somebody who wants to spend time with us...be interested in the details of our life?

Being an only child, my friends become like family.  Having a sibling to call or reach out to is an unknown reality for me.  There are areas of my life that have been lonely and solitary.

There are those friends that come into your life for a specific season.  You need what they have to offer and they need what you have to offer. You learn and grow in each other's presence.  Time together is sweet and refreshing.  I have learned to hold these seasonal friends loosely. They will come and go.....they were never designed to be forever friends.

The forever friendships in your life need to be cherished, nurtured, protected at all costs.  I regretfully admit that I have not always been a trustworthy friend.  I have been responsible for causing damaging fractures in friendships.  Forever friends are rich and priceless...I will be ever grateful for the forgiveness extended to me with grace and the offer of new beginnings... a clean slate.

Terry Hershey, in his book, "Sacred Necessities", writes that without friendship we cannot be fully human or fully alive. He expands the thought with this, "by our intentional decision to open ourselves to friendship, we choose to stand up and be counted and be defined by our choices.  It means that I choose to communicate.  To ask. Tell. Play. Invite.  Be present. Push. Give and take. Be a sounding board.  Write a note."

I happened across a blog today by Shaun Groves.  He shared insights about a book he had just finished reading,  Fables of Fortune: What Rich People Have That You Don’t Want, by Richard Watts.
The blog included this quote from the book.  I found it interesting...
"Friendship — genuine friendship — is an irreplaceable gift. In a sense, friendship acts to level the valleys of the human experience, filling in the potholes of everyday life. A sincere friend accepts you as you are, in spite of your flaws. They offer companionship and comfort, acting as a sort of emotional  scanner that can identify your undisclosed hurts and desires. Genuine friends are assets who help you overcome and forget the negative and rejoice in the positive. Life is not meant to be lived alone.” – pg 105.

I would encourage you to be the kind of friend you want to have in your own life.  Plant seeds of kindness, joy, and compassion in the lives of those around you and see what springs up in your heart and the hearts of those around you.








Friday, January 17, 2014

My 500 Words January 17,2014 Prescription...

Prescription...

Matthew 19:19
Jesus said, “Don’t murder, don’t commit adultery, don’t steal, don’t lie, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as you do yourself.”


Luke 10:27
27 He said, “That you love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence—and that you love your neighbor as well as you do yourself.”

Tell me honestly...have you ever heard anyone expand on the words I have highlighted in the above verses?

Have you ever noticed them before?   Those "love yourself" commands  may make you a little uncomfortable.  Sounds a bit selfish doesn't it?  But, I believe Jesus knew exactly what He was saying.

How are we going to love and respect our neighbor if we don't know how to love and respect ourselves?  We can do good works and more good works.  I would guess our efforts would likely be out of duty...guilt....and the most offensive of all, to be seen and patted on the back by our peers.  I know.  It's crazy.  But we all do it.  We do our good works to hide the brokenness inside of us.

I have taken on responsibilities and activities I had no business doing because I wanted to appear to be someone I wasn't.  Not wanting to be the outsider, I determined to impress with my devotion to a cause. I was being disingenuous and dishonest.

 It would seem, the logical question would be.."how do I love myself in a way that enhances my relationships?"   Here are some of the changes I have made in my life to encourage me on my journey of loving the people around me.

  • Accepting the truth that I am worthy because God says I am.  My value has already been determined and is non-negotiable.  There is nothing I can do to add to my value.  There is nothing more valuable than the Life that was given for me.
  • I resist the urge to perform for approval.  I'm accepted...I no longer need to perform  or pretend I'm someone I'm not.
  • I do practical things to care for myself, body, soul, and spirit.
  • For my physical body that includes enough sleep, water, healthy food, exercise, fresh air.
  • For my soul and my emotions, that means times of quiet and solitude, fellowship with friends, saying "no" to taking on more than I can handle, reading, journaling, hobbies, vacations to refuel and reflect.
  • My spirit needs prayer, God's Word, steps of faith...sometimes I take two steps forward and three steps back, resting in grace and mercy, forgiving myself and others.
  • I choose to make my well-being a priority in my life.  If I don't, busy-ness will drain every last drop of energy from me.   I make my own schedule.  No one forces me into overcommittment.
  • Family comes first.  That includes kindness and respect.  Have you ever had the phone ring as you were in the middle of yelling at a child or your spouse?  How quick my voice transforms into sugar as I answer!   From newlyweds to young parents to empty nesters...at every season of life you need time with your spouse.  Time together is invaluable and nourishing to your marriage. 
  • I learned to set boundaries in relationships.  I sought out the resources to help me discern what and who is healthy and safe. 
  • I give myself permission to fail.  I am not perfect.  I will make mistakes.  I fail but I am NOT a failure.

As I am growing into the person I was created to be, I am finding I am able to love others with genuine motives, unconditionally,  and without any strings attached.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

My 500 Words January 16,2014 Beloved...

JamWithMeThursdays
Today for My 500 Word post I'm hooked up with Bonnie Gray over at Faith Barista.  Her writing prompt for this week is the word "Beloved".

Doesn't every little girl want to grow up to be someone's beloved?  I know I did.  I'm a sappy romantic at heart.   We were all created, men and women, to desire to be greatly loved, prized and treasured.

It's the central theme of fairy tales, books, movies, photography...as I think about it, all of art is about being someone's love, loving another person, the angst of love.  Love is all around us.  Even nature is vibrant with the shades and shadowing of love.

Where we  humans get in trouble is looking for love in all the wrong places.  How love was or was not modeled in our homes when we were children will most likely determine our approach to relationships. Were we loved and valued or were we ignored?  Did we hear words of encouragement or were our young ears blasted with abusive words?  Were we faithfully disciplined or dismissed as an inconvenience?

Do most of us even know what a healthy relationship should look like?  Do we know the warning signs of abuse and neglect?  Are we so wounded that we settle for whatever we can get?

No relationship is perfect.  Regardless of what all the songs on the radio say.  Another person does not "complete me" or make me "whole".  Everybody is dysfunctional...just in differing degrees.  

In my drama- filled teenage years my dad was in law enforcement.  A little intimidating to the young men who may have wanted to date me.  I was a cute little thing, shy, appeared happy most of the time.  If you have read any of my previous posts, you know my dad was an alcoholic.  Our life revolved around his affair with the bottle.  My mom coped and did the best she knew how, all the while trying to hide the family secrets.  

 From the chaos of my home, a silent neediness was being woven into my emotions.  I needed to be loved.  I needed to belong to someone.  I believed the lie that I would be a nobody if I wasn't wanted or loved.  I made some really poor choices out of that desperation. 

 Married at 19, I  moved from my parent's house into our home.  I was unprepared for the responsibility and the emotional roller coaster of marriage. There were times my husband would walk into the house, take one look at me and ask..."You want to run don't you?"  I would slowly, reluctantly nod my head yes.  I am grateful the Lord held me steady and I never made the choice to leave

Eventually, the truth that I am God's Beloved soaked through all the layers of fear and heartache, shame and regret. I took the choke hold off of  my husband.  He could not humanly fulfill all the needs I had.  It was impossible for him to fix all that was so broken from my childhood. I came into our marriage a bottomless black pit of neediness and pain.  Only one Person could take on the mess I was and bring me to wholeness. 

I end with one of my favorite Scriptures that I go back to when I need to be reminded of Whose I am...Who I belong to.  I delight in the poetry of the Message version of Psalm 18:16-19.

The Message (MSG)
16-19 But me he caught—reached all the way
    from sky to sea; he pulled me out
Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,
    the void in which I was drowning.
They hit me when I was down,
    but God stuck by me.
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
    I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!


Wednesday, January 15, 2014

My 500 Words January 15, 2014 Grenade Lobber...

Grenade Lobber....

My son calls me a grenade lobber.  I have a tendency to ask hard questions that make people uncomfortable.

The launching question I ask the most is, "Who made that rule?"

Having been a people pleaser a good portion of my life, I have had to learn how to discern the information that comes into my life.  Having an opinion, saying "no", or "I disagree",  were not skills I owned.

For me, part of learning to be assertive has been practicing asking questions.  For example...who made the rule that white clothing could not be worn after Labor Day or before Memorial Day?  Actually, no one knows the origin of the "white clothing rule".  I checked with Google.  See what I mean?  A social etiquette followed for decades and no one knows how it started.

Okay, that was an easy one....now I'm going to ask some interesting questions and maybe even share an opinion or two. Buckle your seat belts....cover your toes....I'm coming for the sacred cows.  And by all means....check out the references for yourself.

I am a Christ follower.  Notice I didn't mention a denomination.  Now, I'm not offended or disturbed if you happen to belong to a denomination.  That's not my focus. The focus for me became this question.."Do I go to a "church", or as a believer, am I and other believers actually The Church?  You may be asking what difference it makes...valid question.  I will use a couple of questions as my answer.  Where does God reside? Does He inhabit a building of brick and mortar or does He reside in His people?  Use the word, church, as a key word at http://www.biblegateway.com/  and decide how you would answer those questions.

Have you ever been invited to a special occasion and either declined, because you didn't think you were "good enough", or spent a small fortune on a new wardrobe just to "fit in"?  I have.  I'll be honest. Why would I want to stick out like a sore thumb?  So, why in the world do people dress up extra special on Sunday morning to attend a service?

 Here is the history behind dressing in our Sunday best.  Just so you know, I am quoting from, "Pagan Christianity", by Frank Viola and George Barna.
"Dressing up for social events was known only among the very wealthy.  Only the well-to-do aristocrats of society could afford nice clothing!  Common folks had only two sets of clothes: work clothes for laboring in the field and less tattered clothing for going into town.  Dress was a clear marker of one's social class. Eventually the middle class was born, and they could now dress up to distinguish themselves from the peasants, and more closely resemble the well-to-do."

In all fairness, many Sunday morning services are now more casual.  My point is this....God does not accept or reject dependent on attire, hair style or color, piercings or tattoos. (Thought I would throw those in, too.) If attendees are made to feel uncomfortable because they are dressed non-traditionally, then I would question the purpose and message of the organization. I hope you will check Luke 20:46 to see what Jesus Himself said about religious behavior.

Years ago, I was impacted by a statement from a friend who had left her religious order of nuns.  She believed every activity she engaged in was holy and sacred.  From going to the grocery store to volunteer work to employment, eating and recreation, even rest.  For her, there was no delineation between sacred and secular. Apparently, God says the same thing.  Colossians 3:23 in the Amplified version of the Bible says this, "Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily (from the soul), as something done for the Lord and not for men."

One more thought...this past Sunday I was impressed by the message I heard from a young pastor in the service I attended.  He brought up money.  I know, the biggest grenade ever. Our Western culture, even organized religion, throws money at everything.  It's easy to throw a ten dollar bill in the offering plate as it passes or give to a favored charity.  Noncommittal and impersonal.  His question was this....Instead of indifferently writing a check for the missions fund, why not go on the trip yourself?  Religious works versus hands-on relationships. Last time I checked....Jesus said , "Go into all the world..."  Mark 16:15.

It's time to wrap this up....for now I'm out of grenades. Oh, by the way...I attended that service this past Sunday in my blue jeans.




Tuesday, January 14, 2014

My 500 Words January 14 , 2014 The Honey Bee and the Wild Goat...

Her eyes had fluttered open long before the faint rays of the sunrise had begun to spread light over the hills of her land.  Her heart was already in prayer crying out to the God of her ancestors for deliverance from the oppression of King Jabin and his brutal commander, Sisera.

She wept in sorrow over the disobedience of her people, the Israelites.  They had turned their backs, once again, on the God who loved and pursued them. Prostrating themselves before foreign idols, they no longer called to mind the promises and faithfulness of their God.


Israel was divided, making God's people weak and vulnerable before Sisera's army.  They were defenseless before his mighty 900 iron chariots.  Every man of her once proud nation, even the strongest, had given in to hoplessness and despair.

Two decades of being dominated and ruled by Jabin had finally brought Deborah's people to their knees.  They, too, were crying out to Yahweh, the God who had always heard the desperate cries of His people and delivered them to freedom.

Day after day she sat under the same palm tree, in the open air, listening to the squabbles and complaints of the people.  Day after day, God gave her divine wisdom as a prophetess to bring peace and fairness to their disputes. She knew she heard from God, she believed Him and the people trusted her judgments.

But this was not just another day under the palm tree.  This was the day God delivered His battle plans to bring an end to their oppression. She summoned Barak, the military leader, giving him the clear, concise plan God had spoken to her. Barak hesitated, even though God had declared He would give victory over Siscera .  Barak refused to advance against Siscera without Deborah going into battle with him.

She boldly countered his hesitation and fear.  She would courageously go to war with the 10,000 men God had instructed be gathered. But she informed Barak he would not receive the honor of destroying Siscera. A woman would be bestowed with the honor of destroying the enemy commander.

She, Barak, and the 10,000 inadequately armed warriors advanced to the top of Mount Tabor.  There in the shelter of the abundant evergreens and oak trees, they watched as Siscera and his 900 iron chariots gathered below them at the Kishon River.  Siscera had heard of the brewing rebellion and had been lured to the river bed.

Dark clouds began to gather all around them.  How would they fight in a rainstorm?   From their high vantage point, the Israelite army watched as the downpour of rain swelled the river to floodtide.  What had just a short time before been a brook, was now a raging torrent of water, trapping mighty iron chariots and horses in muck and mire.  Barak and his soldiers charged down the hill, their enemies now easy targets.  Every soldier of  King Jabin's army died by the sword.  Except, Siscera. He had abandoned his chariot and his army and escaped on foot.

She continued to watch as Barak pursued Siscera until they were out of her sight.  She waited for Barak to return with news of Siscera's death.  Return, he did, with the report of a tent-dwelling woman named, Jael, having killed Siscera.

Siscera had sought refuge in Jael's tent, presuming she was his ally.   Inviting him to rest, she covered him with a rug, then proceeded to soothe him to sleep with kind words and warm milk.  Being a tent dweller, Jael was adept with a tent peg and hammer. Moving swiftly, as Siscera slept, she drove a tent peg through his skull, pinning his head to the ground.

Jael went outside her tent to meet Barak in his pursuit of Siscera.  Opening the entrance of her tent, she told him she would show him the man he was seeking.  As his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the tent, the words spoken by Deborah rang in his ears..."the road you are going on will not lead to your glory.  The Lord will sell Siscera into the hand of a woman."  There lay Siscera, the great commander, drawn to his death by Jael.

As Deborah and Barak led the procession to return to their people, they sang a song of triumph and victory.  "The villagers ceased in Israel;  they ceased to be until I arose;  I, Deborah, arose as a mother in Israel."  "Most blessed of women be Jael, of tent dwelling women most blessed."

Her own name, Deborah, meant honey bee.  Jael's name meant wild goat.  Two unlikely women warriors who had been chosen to bring peace to her people.


Monday, January 13, 2014

January 13, 2014 My 500 Words ONE WORD

                                                       
I have stumbled across several blogs that are conveying the same simple message of how to begin this new year of 2014.  I like simple....how about you?  I am including their sites so you can reflect over their writing and the simple act of embracing ONE WORD for your new year.

http://www.faithbarista.com/2014/01/just-one-word-giving-voice-to-your-soul-even-when-you-have-very-little/

http://oneword365.com/

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/01/the-most-important-skill-that-your-2014-really-needs/  

Choosing ONE WORD to live my year by seemed a bit daunting.  So many meaningful words went racing through my mind.  

In December, I was a guest at a  Ladies Christmas Tea. Eventually, my turn came to choose a surprise gift from under the tree.  My random gift was a coffee mug, bright and cheery, with ONE WORD on it. Unexpectedly, but so like my God, my word for 2014 was right there in front of me.  

 It makes me a little weak in the knees and my heart beats a little faster when I think of my ONE WORD.  Are you ready for it?  My ONE WORD is....TRUST. 

Trust is a very B.I.G. word for a recovering control freak like me.  Control...what a self-delusion.   I have learned that I can only make choices for my own life.  Control is the illusion I can control other people and circumstances to shield my heart from rejection and hurt.  The fruit of that false belief system is emotional exhaustion and strained relationships.  Cynicism and fear are cruel taskmasters.

2014 will be my journey of trust.  Trust in myself, trust in my husband's love and trust in my God.

This year, I will trust that the work my Lord has done in my heart, and continues to do, is worth sharing.  In The Message version of the Bible, 2 Corinthians 1:4, says this...."He brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us."  I trust He will bring me alongside those who need my encouragement and love. And I trust I will be bold enough to be transparent and honest.

Oh....my marriage.  We will celebrate 38 years of marriage this year. Amazing, since I am not an easy woman to be married to.  I am intense, I can be harsh and judgmental, and I can be the ultimate drama queen.  Due to my dad's alcoholism, my home of origin was full of strive and anger.  I brought that atmosphere into my marriage.  Peace felt foreign and frightening.  So what did I do to attempt to create my "normal"?  I picked a fight.   My poor husband....he was shell shocked in those early years. In 2014 I am going to trust in the love my husband has for me, receive it, and embrace peace and quiet.

Birds have become a symbol of freedom to me.  I have an old, rusty bird cage in my living room.  I leave the door open to remind myself that, in Jesus, I am free.  This morning I read a Scripture I have read many times over.  It took on new meaning, in this, my year of trust.  Matthew 6:26..."Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God.  And you count far more to Him than birds."  I am stepping into this new year trusting in my God who gives me permission to be careless in His care.

And you?  What might your ONE WORD be for 2014?