Billye Jean....
Beautiful...isn't she....meet my mom, Billye.
She is the youngest of four daughters, born to Russian German immigrants. The dark almond shape eyes are from her father, Jacob, and most of us in the family have them. Interesting how those physical traits are passed down for generations.
If you have followed my blog, you know I have shared openly about my father's alcoholism. Because she has influenced me and my life, I wanted to introduce you to my mom.
Her mother, my Grandma Molly, was a firecracker! She was under five feet tall and full of vim and vigor. She raised four very strong daughters and I refer to all of them and my cousins as ...."The Wamboldt Women".
My Grandpa Jacob died when my mom was 16. In his illness, she and Grandma Molly would split the days to care for him. Grandma worked in the school kitchen half a day and then came home so my mom could go to school for the rest of the day. Caretaking is one of my mom's God-given gifts...even now she volunteers for a Hospice House near her home.
Most people may be surprised that my mom could play a doozie of a polka on the accordion. That crazy instrument provided some fun memories for me as I was growing up. To this day, whenever Gary and I circle the floor to a polka tune, I think of my mom.
Life with an alcoholic is indescribable. My mom was the rock of our dysfunctional family. She worked a full time job so rent could be paid, food put on the table, and I could participate in school activities. My dad worked also....but he drank a good portion of the income away.
But... let me back up a bit...
I was born 8 weeks early. A little bit scary for an 18 year old wife and new mother. As I've heard it told, I spent the first month of my life in the hospital in an incubator. She was there every day. I was not the healthiest baby or toddler. Drug reactions, seizures, near death experiences, allergies and severe asthma. Whew! A lot for a young mother.
My dad began his decline into alcoholism when I started junior high school. My mom tried to keep the home as "normal" as possible. Looking back, I realize the courage and strength it took for her to survive in an impossible situation. She did all she knew to do.
The alcoholism finally took its toll on my parent's marriage. A divorce happened and my mom continued her life, for a time, as a single woman working multiple jobs to support herself.
She eventually met a gentleman who swept her off her feet and carried her all over the USA in a 5th wheel... building motels, doing volunteer construction work for churches, and insurance adjusting for catastrophic disaster areas. Now retired, they make their home in Arkansas.
The relationship with my mom has been a journey. There have been detours, construction areas, and bumpy sections of the road. Our individual faith has kept us working at our relationship as mother and daughter. Most importantly, we keep moving towards one another.
When Gary looked at this picture, he thought it was me. I have been called Billye many times in my life. I consider it an honor to be her daughter and I am blessed to have her as my mother.
OFF THE GRID.....
Grab your cup of coffee or tea and let's chat a bit!
I found a new program on the travel channel this week. One of those reality ...which of these 3 houses do you want to purchase...shows.
What captured my attention was the location. The homes being offered for sale were in Hawaii and I am fascinated by the beauty of Hawaii.
Each episode, filmed on a different Hawaiian island, depicted the lifestyle unique to that particular island. The photography was spectacular.
Of course, the couple searching for their dream home had a budget and a list of his and hers needs and wants. One couple wanted a home on the beach, so their budget was $1 million plus. The budgets were varied and the locations of the homes corresponded with the budget.
The couple that fascinated me the most wanted a home "off the grid". Currently, they were residing in a tent. The man indicated he could have continued living in the tent, but the woman appeared to be extremely ready to find a house.
Due to their below $200,000 budget, their home had the possibility of being located on a black, harsh lava field. Rainwater collected in a giant tank would provide running water in the house, with drinking water needing to be purchased. There was no electricity. Only the option of a small wind turbine or solar panels. No water....no electricity...equals "off the grid". No neighbors....no vegetation....long distances for supplies and amenities.
There are people, like this couple, who choose to live off the grid, away from other people, in a solitary survival-like existence. There are those who are imprisoned, not by choice, in an off the grid emotional condition called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD.
Even though PTSD is most commonly associated with soldiers returning from war, it can affect anyone who becomes overwhelmed under relentless and chronic stress.
A friend recently described it as being punched over and over and over again in the same spot. There isn't time to recover, to break the stress down into manageable portions, before the next wave crashes over you. It's like being exiled to a harsh, black lava field...isolated and desolate.
This post has been simmering in the back of my mind for several weeks. Mainly because I wanted to share the blog of a brave young mother, Bonnie Gray, who is healing from PTSD.
Today, wanting to review a little, I pulled a book from my shelf given to me by my mom in 1989. The book is for Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA's) and includes a chapter on PTSD. I was skimming the pages, curious at what I had highlighted so many years ago and realized I was seeing parts of my present emotional state mirrored in the words.
I spent many years pursuing healing as an ACA...so why were these issues surfacing now...again?
My question was answered as I remembered one of my favorite analogies about the process of emotional healing. We heal in layers. The pain and the hurt settled over us in layers and those layers are peeled off the same way we peel an onion.
Our Father is ever gentle in His restoring and healing. Isaiah 42:3 from The Message Bible says it like this..."He won't brush aside the bruised and the hurt and He won't disregard the small and the insignificant, but He'll steadily and firmly set things right." He gives us the time, strength, and grace to heal in a process that is custom designed by His hand just for us.
It appears I have another layer being peeled...I'd better get my journal and my pen...
Please visit the blog site of Bonnie Gray...she is creative and vulnerable and brave as she spills her heart out in the process of healing from childhood abuse and PTSD.
http://www.faithbarista.com/
